This Thing I Call Hope

by Stars As Lights

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I originally started as an acoustic pop singer-songwriter,
this album is from those times.

This was my first solo release. Even though it may sound really rough, this was the first time I experimented with a digital audio workstation and recording vocals / guitars. Many mistakes were made, but hey, that's what needs to be done to progress.

The album really reflects my mindset back then.


released December 1, 2010

Everything by Lauri Paavolainen



all rights reserved


Stars As Lights Finland


Stars As Lights is a one-man ambient / post-rock project aiming to be the background music for beautiful moments.

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Track Name: Battery Low, Please Recharge Us
Turn your head to the side, always wondering how are things with you and I,
I'm static here for a while, watching the stars gaze back to me and
I'm rephrasing my own fricking life, my mess, my trouble, my excuse for all this time.
Use my wings and fly, I sigh when I'm out of my own sight.

I went too far, this time I'm gone.
How can I survive it?
Make it last for another minute?

Craving for lost emotions, floating about in my mind,
I know what this means, I'm locked inside
and there are no keys in sight.

Stand on me, this time I know where I'm from.
So I can tell my head, that this was just some
imaginary thought that ruined my life.

Shake my hand one time, meeting is the first step towards the borderline,
'what could happen this time?', I wonder while I almost trip and fall inside
the door into the room, I was supposed to be meeting you.
I know, I know, you told me how the world can be so cruel.
Track Name: The Coma
I'm running out of things to say, eventhough my mouth is still moving.
No one can hear the words, cannot make them out, your hand still touching
my hand lying unmoved in the spot it was left a hour ago,
wait, what did I just say, was that something I didn't know?

Call me stupid for denying all of this, but I'm supposed to be crying.
Is this one of those sick jokes of yours?
Or are you watching me sleep in a hospital bed,
in a coma state again?

Shake me, wake me, I don't want to see you sad,
please, please, I made a mistake, don't be mad,
Call up the doctors and they'll say I have a few days to live,
and for the sake of me do not say "oh, you had so much to give"

There was a boy that didn't know what to say or how to feel.
One day something terrible happened to the boy he lost his chance
to tell the truth, a terrible fate became real.

I don't want to be cold hearted and made of steel, when I leave
so here is a song to remind you about how I feel, about you.
Track Name: A New Beginning
Hush now, don't you cry, the light has shone on us tonight.
We've been given air under our wings for us to fly.

Shut your tears and fears in a box, and throw the box away.
Promises kept, compassion shown, we are going to stay.

What ever it takes for you to settle down,
that's what we are going to give you.

What ever it takes for you to be alright now,
that's what we are going to give you.

It's a new beginning, it's a new start.

When you grow up, don't listen to what people say,
the life takes you in a different direction anyway,
may the happiness surround you.

And where ever we may be,
you are still deep, deep in our hearts
Track Name: I Understand
One day I thought that this could be the happy ending,
for a movie never ending, to save us from misunderstandings.

Everyday I'm wrong on my speculations,
I'm making no sense, let's use our imaginations.

What should I do? (please tell me )
What should I write about? (crumbled papers calling me)

This song makes no sense anyway.

Hold my hand. What are we going to do now?
If this prevails we call out our decoy and run.

All bets are off and the chase has begun,
forever endeavour to find the sun.

Do you really know what this means to us?
Do you really understand?

( Take it all away )
Track Name: Mittens
Your mittens greeting my pockets as we make our confessions.
Desire points my place to be by your side, tonight.

Our breath evaporates as we shiver together in the cold,
watch the stars, embrace you in a hug so close you can't get out.

The moonlit sky lights up with the lights of our passion.
This time I'm not afraid to say it.

The darkest dark. The end of the world.
With you I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I love how we stand right here when snow gathers on top of our heads.
Streetlights illuminate a couple kissing infront of the bus stop sign.
They say goodnight, they start to cry for not seeing eachother for a while.
Track Name: Footsteps
Are you there? I hear breathing but I doubt it's you,
this night you've stayed by my side, I can see it from your shoes,
by the door with the floor filled with snow from outside.

It's cold, I can see you quiver, come closer, I can't watch this die,
I've made up my mind this time, I've made up my mind.

All these nights are over my head,
could you please explain me what is happening?
what is happening?

Do it all just by letting go of the truth,
I am waiting for the moment when I become
when I become you.

If you could see into my mind,
you would freak out, yeah, you could even cry,
snow covers our tracks, leaving up no trace of evidence.

Did I hear someone unlock the door? Are we saved
and are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
You pause and say: "we'll fly away free"
Track Name: Walking Backwards
Walking backwards when you can't keep on moving forward
due to finding out such a thing as

love that brings the best and the worst out of us.
love that sheds reality for most of us.

story that I can't even write about,
it's too hard to sing these words.

(Am I) okay? Am I okay?
It's too hard for me to keep on going on,
Waiting for the one person to keep me strong.

Taking a step back from the disaster that struck like a lightning from a clear skyline,
all that they told us was a lie.

Get up, stand up, keep your head up high, leave the cries to another night
Keeping it strong when I kill your appetite, "please, lights out."

story that I can't even write about,
it's too hard to write these words.
Track Name: Departed
This lonely ocean starts to feel like a home.
As the waves crash infront of my soul.

I'm a shipwreck, all molded up in the bottom of the ocean,
as you drift by in your boat in all fashion and causion.

How can I make myself invinsible, unbreakable
How can I make myself unbreakable, invinsible.

Days go by, as I sing about my laziness
Muffled notes deep underwater try to reach the surface.

Should I leave?
Or should I stay?
Track Name: New Years Eve
I bow my head in silence.
To say that I'm not broken.

To take ones love,
tear it down to the ground so cold,
words left unspoken.

Should you cry, I would come for you.
Anyone can build this up for us to tear it down.

What ever reason you had, I understand you.
I love you please remember that, I understand you.
For tomorrow I cannot breathe,
You left me standing in the snow at new Years eve.

The day has come and here we stand.
I can't decide on what I am.

What do I have to do to earn your trust - again?
The story ends tonight we're closing in on an end.
Track Name: Sleep To Hide From The World
in the morning I'm waitin all alone,
for a sign that would lead me home.
It would tell me exactly what I'm to do,
carefully guiding me 'till I'm trough.

Why do I digress from the path,
Oh, why must leaving be so sad?

Oh, I know, it must be because I'm sick and tired of all of this.
Oh, I know, it must be all that is left, from this, story unwritten.

I sleep to hide from the world.

But the world always finds me,
it never is easy to say (goodnight.)

Waking up is the hardest thing to do,
when everything around you suddenly is true.
Do you take a deep deep breath,
or fill the air with a sound instead?

Why is everything black and white?
Can I fall asleep for awhile?